I thought I knew my husband, Jake, but when he handed me a schedule to “become a better wife,” I was stunned. Little did he know, I was about to teach him a lesson he’d never forget.
Jake had fallen under the influence of Steve, a loudly opinionated, perpetually single colleague who dispensed relationship advice. Jake’s newfound approach to marriage was alarming, and I knew I had to act.
The schedule, courtesy of Steve’s expertise, outlined my daily routine: wake up at 5 a.m., gourmet breakfast, gym, chores, and cooking. I was supposed to be a perfect homemaker, abandoning my job and identity.
But I didn’t explode. Instead, I smiled and agreed, knowing exactly how to handle this. The next day, I crafted my own list, “Jake’s Plan for Becoming the Best Husband Ever.” I itemized the costs of his absurd expectations: $1,200 for a personal trainer, $700 for organic groceries, and $75,000 to replace my salary since I’d be his full-time assistant.
As Jake scanned the list, his grin faded, replaced by shock and realization. He saw the financial and logistical nightmare he’d created. The numbers spoke louder than words, and he finally understood the gravity of his mistake.
“Lisa, I didn’t mean for it to be like this,” he stammered, his face pale. “I thought Steve’s advice was sensible, but now I see it’s toxic.”
I seized the moment, my voice calm but firm. “Marriage isn’t about lists or routines; it’s about respect. If you ever try to ‘fix’ me like this again, you’ll pay a hell of a lot more than what’s on that paper.”
Jake’s apology was heartfelt, and we tore up the list together, reaffirming our commitment to equality in our marriage.
This experience taught us that marriage isn’t about one person being “better” than the other; it’s about being better together. And sometimes, it takes a clever counterattack to remind us of that.
