Five years after my divorce, I thought I had closed the chapter on my ex-husband, Ben. We had maintained a cordial relationship for the sake of our children, but I had moved on with my life. That was until his new girlfriend, Lisa, reached out to me with a question that would change everything.
I met Lisa at our daughter’s 16th birthday dinner, where she seemed friendly and eager to make a good impression. However, it wasn’t until later that night, when she somehow got my number and sent me a text, that I realized she was struggling to understand Ben’s behavior. Her question was simple yet profound: could Ben change his ways when it came to remembering special occasions?
I was taken aback by her inquiry, and my initial reaction was mixed. Part of me wanted to warn her about Ben’s flaws, while another part felt it wasn’t my place to interfere. I decided to respond honestly, telling her that Ben’s behavior was unlikely to change and that she needed to figure that out for herself.
Months went by, and I didn’t think much about the encounter until Ben called me to say that he and Lisa had broken up. He complained that she had made a big deal out of nothing, constantly bringing up his forgetfulness on birthdays and anniversaries. I listened patiently, feeling a twinge of guilt for not being more supportive of Lisa.
As I reflected on the conversation, I realized that Lisa’s question had been more than just a simple inquiry – it had been a cry for help. She was trying to understand whether Ben’s behavior was a deal-breaker, and I had failed to provide her with the guidance she needed.
The encounter made me think about my own experiences with Ben. I had spent years trying to change him, to make him more considerate and attentive. But in the end, I realized that I deserved better. I deserved someone who would value and appreciate me for who I am.
As I looked back on my journey, I felt a sense of peace and closure. I had grown and learned so much since my divorce, and I was grateful for the experience. I hoped that Lisa would find the happiness she deserved, and I knew that I had done the right thing by not getting too involved in their relationship.
In the end, it’s not about birthdays or anniversaries – it’s about finding someone who truly values and appreciates you. I knew that I had found that in my own life, and I was grateful for the lesson that Lisa’s question had taught me.
