It’s normal for people to make mistakes when it comes to love relationships. One thing that I’ve recently become aware of that is really frightening is? During your first date, it can be very embarrassing if you mess up. When you start a new relationship, it’s both exciting and scary. There are times when you’re excited to meet the other person and see where things go, but there are also times when you’re afraid that something bad might happen. So why is it different to make a mistake when the relationship is only a few weeks old?
For example, Dr. Jason Whiting, author of Love Me True: Overcoming the Surprising Ways we Deceive in Relationships, says that trust has been built in a healthy long-term relationship, which is the main difference between making a mistake early in a relationship and later on. “In a healthy long-term relationship, trust has been built.” When two people have been together for a long time, they know that the other person always has their back and will never leave them or hurt them on purpose. So, if a mistake is made there, it’s easier to fix, and the conversations tend to go more smoothly.
To put it another way, making a mistake early in a relationship is not a good idea because your new boyfriend doesn’t know you well enough to tell if what you do is a one-time mistake or a sign of how you really act. When you’re first getting to know someone, it’s not a good idea to make a mistake. Some people may find it easier to end a relationship quickly rather than try to make things work, even though some people are more forgiving at the beginning of a relationship.
Whiting says, “Most of the time, early mistakes are misunderstandings because the couple is still getting to know each other.” They haven’t been together for a long time, so they don’t know each other’s past, sense of humour, or way of talking to people. Because of this, they are more likely to judge quickly. Of course, there is a big difference between small mistakes or misunderstandings and bigger red flags that you should look out for in a new love relationship. If your partner acts bossy or manipulative, is very jealous, or always needs to have the last word in a fight, these could all be signs that your partner is toxic.
Here is a list of seven mistakes that people often make in the beginning of a relationship. You and your partner should be able to work through most of these problems and keep your relationship from ending too soon if you are honest and talk to each other.
Mistake 1: Being too strong
“[Being too available] can backfire in so many different ways,” says Anita Chlipala, author of First Comes Us: The Busy Couples’ Guide to Lasting Love and relationship expert. “Your date might wonder if you really like them or if you’re just eager to start dating because you want to get together so badly.” The idea that we want things that are out of our reach is partly true. It drives us to work even harder to get a prize that we can’t reach. Some people might not want to be with you if you are too approachable or too strong. This could make them lose interest in the relationship quickly.
To solve the problem, don’t be afraid to start talking to people and set up dates. However, remember that being independent is important for keeping relationships healthy. How can you make sure that you and your partner are both on the same page? Use your words and talk to your partner about how often you both want to see each other. The most important thing is that you and your partner agree on what you expect, so neither of you will feel stressed or let down. It doesn’t matter if this happens once a week or every other day.
Second mistake: Being rude
Lorde, a very good musician, once said, “It’s a new art form showing people how little we care.” Anyone who has been on the rough waters of online dating can relate to those words. As was already said, there is a sweet spot between being too open at the start of a relationship and cutting someone off too quickly. Even so, it’s important not to cut someone off too quickly.
One thing Chlipala notices is that she often meets people who think they should “just know” right away if they are connected to someone. This isn’t always the case. To find out if you are matched with someone, you need to go on a number of dates, which can often last for several weeks. Do not ignore someone just because your first impression of them is bad.
In spite of what we might think from TV and films, relationships aren’t always a quick spark. The answer is to be aware of this and not ignore the things that are absolute deal-breakers for you. If someone told you that their first date was “mediocre,” you might not want to go on a date, but you should because it could lead to a great second date.
Mistake 3: Talking too much
I have definitely done the wrong thing more than once when it comes to oversharing. When you’re in a new relationship, it’s important to be open and honest, but that doesn’t mean you have to tell your new partner all of your horrible secrets on the first date. “The information you start to gather about someone is blown out of proportion when you first meet them,” says Chlipala. It will be more important for your date to do something or tell you something at the end of the date because you don’t know much about them right now. People who have been together for a long time become more familiar with each other’s habits and quirks because they’ve spent more time with them.
Answer: When you’re just getting to know someone, you should let yourself be open and vulnerable when the time is right. But you shouldn’t rush into deeper conversations or being open and vulnerable too soon. In the event that you accidentally say something that you now think might be a bit intense, all you need to do is admit it and say that you’re not sure how much you shared. The answer your partner gives you will tell you a lot about how understanding they are (or aren’t).
Mistake 4: Being against others
When you’re just getting to know someone, you might be quick to defend yourself if they question something you say or do. Being guarded, on the other hand, doesn’t help. It’s important that both of you are ready to see things from the other person’s point of view and can talk about the issue without getting emotional. He is said to have said, “It’s better to own up to your actions without having to defend them,” which I totally agree with. It’s best to cut ties with someone who doesn’t respect you or who acts otherwise than they should.
The answer is to learn how to talk without getting defensive. Building a connection on mutual respect is very important, especially when the relationship is new. When there are disagreements, this keeps both people from feeling like they are being judged or attacked by their partner.
5. Making too many posts on social media
I fully understand the desire to tell everyone in the world about your new partner. My boyfriend is not only handsome, but he also has a jawline that makes my Snapchat friends green with envy. All I want to do is take a selfie with him and share it. However, social media has more than one role to play in relationships, and this can be especially troublesome in new relationships.
Chlipala adds, “This is way too soon and puts too much stress on the relationship.” Put the photos and check-ins on hold until you’re with someone exclusively. It can be stressful for a new relationship if you constantly post on social media and tag them every time you go out, even if you are not seeing anyone else.
The Solution: If you and your partner both say they are addicted to social media, then go ahead and post as much as you want. But if not, it’s best to wait until you are both settled in your relationship before going online. This is still true even if both of you say you spend too much time on social media. Some experts say that you should wait a few months before getting too serious with someone because “you want to allow some time for infatuation to fade.”
Too much work too soon is mistake number six.
You should definitely go out of your way to be nice to a new partner because you want to show them how much you care. It’s totally clear what you mean. But if you do everything you can to make a new lover happy, it might look like you’re a pushover who doesn’t mind putting in a lot of work for little reward.
According to Chlipala, when you start dating someone, you not only teach them how to treat you, but you also give them duties. A healthy expectation that you and your partner are equal can be set by doing something as simple as dividing up the work of making dinner and cleaning up afterward.
The Solution: In the beginning, you shouldn’t be afraid to ask your partner for help and support. She says, “It’s important to let your partner help out, step up, and do other things like that.” “Say yes, even if you don’t need anything, like when your date or new partner asks you before dinner if they can bring something. You can ask your partner to take on more duty every day, even if it’s only little things.
Mistake 7: Being insecure
Someone or something that could get out of hand in a new relationship? Not having faith. When you first meet someone and start dating them, things aren’t clear because you haven’t decided what kind of relationship you want to have. Inevitably, this can cause some doubt or doubt on both ends. It’s not fair to blame your new partner for your fears and get angry at them when they haven’t done anything wrong. Do not feel bad about talking about any doubts or real worries you may have. However, it is not fair to talk about any doubts or real worries you may have.
To solve the problem, you need to be honest with yourself and try to figure out what is making you feel insecure. Have you ever been cheat on your partner? Does your partner have a history of not being reliable? The way you treat your partner shouldn’t depend on how jealous or insecure you feel. Instead, you should deal with the problem that’s making it happen, whether you need to do it alone or with your partner’s help.
“Making mistakes early on in a relationship is actually good because it gives the couple a chance to learn from their mistakes,” says Whiting. “It’s because these mistakes give the couple some real-life tests.” What do you think? Can they talk things out and make peace, or do they fight over small things and call each other names? Does someone need to say sorry? Although problems will always happen in relationships, these are some of the most important signs of a good one. It is important to see if the relationship in question is strong and flexible.
This means that if you and your partner have recently started dating and have run into some small problems, remember that being able to work through problems together is a skill that all healthy couples must finally learn. When you make a mistake, don’t give up and throw away something good. Instead, see it as a chance to grow as a pair and make it into something better.
