Having a second child twenty years after my first was born was meant to change my whole life. But that’s when we started fighting because my son told me he was also expecting! His pregnant partner went crazy and made demands I couldn’t meet!
When my son Kyle was born, I was twenty years old and still a child. I think I was the best dad I could have been.
The year was supposed to be happy and full of things to do. First, I chose to have a second child 22 years after giving birth to Kyle, when I was 42 years old. I was shocked by the second good thing that happened!
Kyle told me that his woman was pregnant when I was four months along. Kyle was in his last year of college. Not long after that, I became a grandmother! I had no idea I would become a mother before the end of the year!
Being honest, I wasn’t too excited for my kid to become a parent so soon, just like I wasn’t. As a former single parent, I can say that it’s hard to raise a child when you’re still pretty much by yourself.
I didn’t say anything, though, because Kyle looked truly excited.
“Kyle, that’s crazy!” It’s hard to believe that you’ll soon be a dad. I screamed and hugged him. “Thank you, Mom!” To which she replied, “Oh, you’re going to be a first-time grandmother.” He then put his arms back over her.
“A few months apart, our kids are going to be born!” Along with our conversation, I came to understand this.
I agreed to take on my new job, even though it surprised me at first. It started when I started giving them a lot of cash and emotional help. I thought that even though our lives were already connected, they would become even more so.
After giving birth to my beautiful daughter, things started to get tough. Kyle and his partner Sarah were among the people who came to see me in the hospital. “Good job!” You now have two beautiful children!” “His girlfriend gave me flowers, and he tied down balloons,” Kyle said.
“Oh my!” Thanks to everyone who came through. It looks nice with the balloons and flowers. They got lucky because the nurse brought my baby girl in so I could feed her right away. My son asked, “What’s the name of my baby sister?” while holding her little hand.
I told them with pride, “I named her Clara.” The name was important to me because I thought it would start a new era for our growing family. Kyle’s girlfriend, on the other hand, had other ideas!
When I told her name, my son’s girlfriend cried very hard! I swear I thought I had lost my hearing! My baby girl let out her own cry because she was scared by the sudden noise.
As I held my little baby close to me, I tried to comfort her.
Instead of being a happy time, their trip to the hospital turned into chaos! Scared for little Clara, the nurse ran back in quickly. Sarah’s screams were so loud that I thought she might break the windows in the hospital.
They made the silly demand right away that I change Clara’s name. “This name is the point…” Kyle tried to stop her, but he was angry and frustrated. The nurse asked, knowing that something big was about to happen:
“May I have Cla back?” This refers to the child?” I’ll bring her in again when things calm down later.
After standing my ground and saying “NO,” the weight of my choice was clear, even though my baby was hidden from the show. Kyle grabbed Sarah’s arm as she opened her mouth to speak.
As they ran out of the hospital, they left behind a line of confused nurses and a very tired new mother.
After a few weeks, the problem seemed to be fixed. Yet, Kyle and Sarah said that Paxtyn was the new name they had chosen for their child. On a hot family meal, the name just didn’t work for us. My unintentional frown started a firestorm.
“You did it!” Sarah screamed, her words filled with anger. “You took the only name I liked, and now you’re ruining this one too!”
“Could you please stop yelling?” I asked her, “Please help me sleep. My baby is trying to sleep in the other room.”
Kyle tried to make things better because he was stuck in the middle. “Mom, could you please think about it?” in order to stay calm?” His eyes begged you to give in.
But it didn’t seem right to change my daughter’s name to make them happy. I told him, “I can’t believe you would ask me to change the name of my child.” I then realized how silly the whole thing was. “First, my child came before yours.”
“Secondly, you two have NEVER said that was a name you wanted for your child.”
I want to tell you that we couldn’t agree on anything, so dinner ended quickly.
The threats they made got worse over the next few days. “You have two months to fix this,” Kyle told her on the phone.
From what I could tell, he was telling me that I should have changed the name of my daughter before their child was born. Sarah picked up the phone. “We’ll call your granddaughter Paxtyn,” she said. “It will make me laugh when I tell my friends her silly name!”
I thought this young woman had a lot of guts! She was saying that she hated ME more than she loved HER daughter. “You’re ready to make fun of her for the rest of her life to punish ME?” I was shocked and asked why.
The second my kid took the phone back, I asked him if he liked the name Paxtyn. He hung up!
I texted Sarah because I was angry and maybe trying too hard to make things right. “I’ve given it some thought, and I like the name Paxtyn,” I said.
She replied very quickly and poisonously. “Get lost!”
After that text message, we stopped talking and I stopped giving them money. Something had to give, and it was important for my pride and health that I did. I wasn’t going to be forced to give up a name, especially one that was so important to me personally.
After that, there was silence, so I cuddled up with Clara. Her eyes are big and innocent, and she can’t understand the complicated adult world around her. I made promises of love and security to keep her world as happy and pure as I could.
When it comes to Kyle and Sarah, our distance grew. They kept the name Paxtyn, which always reminds people of the split. Still, I have hope, even though it hurts. It seems to me that time can both heal and teach.
They might finally understand why I had to stand my ground. For now, I’m focusing on Clara, my surprise gift, and letting the storm of that year slowly fade from my mind.
Even though she had to set limits and say no, Kyle’s mom and her child didn’t get along. Sadly, Ella’s daughter went through the same thing, but she got pregnant. It was hard for the mother and her pregnant daughter to get along because the daughter had broken her trust.
Is it wrong for me to turn down my pregnant daughter?
Good morning, my name is Ella, and lately I’ve been going through a lot of ups and downs. My daughter Rose, who is 19, is dating Nathan. I surprisingly liked Nathan, even though I tend to be shy around new people. I’m a mom by myself.
Rose told Nathan one day that she was pregnant and engaged, which broke the idea that they were a great match. My whole world fell apart just as I was starting to understand what it meant to become a grandmother and look forward to their future together.
When I got home early one day, I thought I would have a relaxing afternoon, but Rose was in a dangerous situation with another guy! At that very moment, I felt both betrayed and sad. I told the stranger to leave right away and then went up to Rose.
Even though she begged and explained things, they didn’t calm the storm inside me. In a hurt and angry moment, I told her she had to leave our house. What do I think about everything now? Should I tell Nathan what happened?
Did you ask Rose to leave too much? My anger at being betrayed and my love for my daughter are at odds with each other. What would you do if you were in my shoes?
