Even after many years of marriage, my partner still wouldn’t give me what I wanted instead of what HE thought was better. This story is about how I cleverly helped him see the difference. Today, we finally agree on something.
Mark and I said our vows to each other more than three years ago. He’s brilliant, and I appreciate him. Especially when it comes to giving gifts on important days, he’s thoughtful. My husband keeps a gift for me every birthday, Valentine’s Day, and anniversary.
Nevertheless, there is a small problem. He often gives gifts that don’t work, even though he means well. There are times when I feel bad that I don’t like him. A few months ago, we talked about a smartphone I was interested in.
I said that I would get a new iPhone before my birthday. The size of my iPhone 12 Pro Max is the main thing I love about it. Answering, “The bigger screen is best for me because I can watch all of my TV shows and YouTube videos on it.”
It’s really helpful for me because I’m always moving around the house doing things like chores. That’s why I was interested in the iPhone 15 Pro Max. But my spouse was still not satisfied with my answer and would ask:
“Why would you want the Pro Max?” Isn’t the smaller iPhone 15 Pro enough?
I thought that if I told him, “I like the bigger screen,” he would give in and do what I wanted. “It works better for the way I use it.” It was my birthday last weekend all of a sudden. A great BBQ with family, laughter, and tasty food was what we all loved.
After we were done spending time together, everyone started giving me gifts. While others picked out things for the house, I got clothes and purses. I got a nicely wrapped gift from Mark the last time.
When I opened it, I was thrilled to see a brand-new iPhone 15 Pro, not the Max. It was clear he tried to give me what I wanted, even though he failed again. I saluted him and appreciated his work. “Thank you, honey, I really appreciate it!”
When I got home, though, his question surprised me. What do you think of your gift?
I said, “Of course,” trying not to look too upset.
Somewhat he sighed. “I know you want the bigger one and were planning to buy it.” But he did say that the smaller one looked like it would be more useful in the shop. “I liked the way it felt better in MY hand when I held both models to compare.”
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing, and he kept talking even though I didn’t agree with him.The salesperson also said that wives who buy the Pro Max are more likely to keep it than to switch to a smaller type over time.
I tried my best not to drop my jaw as I listened to his case. “I’m still not sure why you wanted the bigger version.” Because of that, I bought the smaller one because it made more sense to me.
There was a strange silence for a minute. As I tried to hide my irritation and shock, I forced a smile and left. Because I needed some space and time to think about what I had heard, I chose to take a shower.
I could not believe that he chose my gift for me instead of for himself. This discovery really turned off my interest in the present, so I kept using my old phone. I could still use my old phone, and it met all of my needs.
Mark chose to talk to me when he could tell I was unhappy. Saying, “You don’t like the gift I got you, Susan?” one night “To be honest, I didn’t mind and was pleased with it until you told me you got it because YOU believed it was best.”
In the end, he called me selfish, which made us fight more and grow farther apart. There was some friction between us because I still wouldn’t use the new phone. We tried to be polite and respect each other, though.
He kept saying that he wanted a PlayStation 5 (PS5) for his present. As I thought about my birthday, I knew it was time for him to do what was right. This time I gave him a PS4 instead of a PS5.
When he opened his present on his special day, he didn’t look too happy. Unlike him, I didn’t wait until later to tell him why I hadn’t given him the gift he really wanted. While I was doing it, I said:
“I chose the PS4 because I thought it would look better in our living room since it was smaller and could fit under our TV.”
Mark seemed really sad at first. His tight smile, though, tried to hide it so that our guests wouldn’t notice anything was wrong. Still, when he set it up in the living room the next day, he saw how funny it was.
“Even so?” Something like a PS4? Actually, I didn’t mean that. Mark said some things as he messed around with the computer.
“I thought it would look better and fit better physically,” I told him again, “It’s useful,” watching him talk.
He stopped when he understood what had happened. “Isn’t this about my phone gift?”
As I said, “Yes, it is,” “What is it like to get something you didn’t ask for?”
Mark turned to face me, and his anger was gone. He was now understanding. “That wasn’t how I thought about it.” I’m sorry.
When we finally got down, we talked later that night. “Until today, I had no idea how it felt to get something you didn’t ask for,” he said.
“I hope you know that I didn’t mean to hurt you.” “I wanted you to know how I felt,” I told her. I hoped that this would teach us both something. He said, “I get it now, babe. I’m sorry I always made your gifts about what I want and how I understand.”
He even said he would work even harder in the future to make me happy and grant my dreams. I promised to do the same. We bought what we wanted for ourselves the next day and returned both gifts!
This small setback in our gift-giving journey made us appreciate how easy it is to talk to each other and respect each other’s decisions even more. Finally, I got my iPhone 15 Pro Max, and Mark got his PS5. We learned that sometimes the best gift we can give someone is to listen to what they really want.
Susan solved her husband’s problem by showing him how bad it is to get something you didn’t ask for. But the story that comes next is a little different. It shows Tom’s daughter giving her mom a gift that is very mean to her for being rude!
Was it okay for me to be mad about the gift my daughter gave my wife for her birthday?
Seriously, I don’t know how to start. There was a day that really tested my limits as a husband and father. Let me introduce myself. It was Mia’s 42nd birthday. She is my wife and the nicest person you will ever meet. It was fun for my teenage daughter Harper and me, but I didn’t know that a storm was brewing with her.
Harper has always been a little tough because she got some of her mother’s less-than-adorable traits. It was her choice to attend Mia’s birthday party on this particular day, and we thought, “Why not? It could be good for them. Huge mistake.
After a tasty dinner, I saw that Mia was sad. She finally let me see the bra Harper had given her for her birthday when I finally got her to talk. I could relate to that because my wife lost both breasts to breast cancer.
That “gift” was not only inappropriate, but it was also a terrible memory of her very bad past! I screamed at Harper when I saw her. Her reply? I told my dad it was a joke. I lost it at that point! I told her she might forget about the car she wanted for her 18th birthday until she apologised to Mia.
Harper lost it, screamed that she was being treated badly, and ran to her mom’s house quickly. In general, it was a terrible night! Harper’s mum yelled at me on the phone, and Mia thought I was being too harsh.
I’m not sure if I crossed the line or not. Or was it okay for me to stand up for Mia? Sincerely, regard is worth more than a gift, correct? What do other people think? Should I have waited to decide what to do until I had cooled down before responding?
